Study all the Magic


Study all the magic.

I listen to you chant and breathe my name

I think of Job, who said

I repent in dust and ashes

I make an offering

spill water in the dessert

kneel in the mud

I take the distance and waiting given to me

and kiss them back into your mouth 

Our black spells, I read them again and again 

upside-down, your hands holding light and darkness

I read them, every word

In the dark of dawn my heart burns like a star

I turn three times and catch the wind in my hair, 

kill a white foal, drink honey

draw blood with wolf's teeth.


How can I conjure us to life?

I live alone with my back to the world,

 I am learning to dance alone,  

I long for a scrap of your clothes,

in my hand, stuffed in my mouth,

an unravelling talisman. 

proof

I call and call.


What if I get lost out here

waiting for you

what if I cannot find my way back in?

but I will try anyway

I will wait for you

I will try anything:

drink your spit,

wear your skin,

carry your teeth in a bag


Where is your body?

Where are you?


Where?