Love does not take place in normal time, you can fall in love in a moment, in a handful of days, a few hundred words. So why should it take place in normal space? Besides, love and lust create their own spaces with their own rules and laws. The space-time between messages, the algebra of schedules and motion. If my heart is moving at the speed of three or four messages an hour, how long will it take for me to know I am in love…
While walking along the shore in Toronto, rusted wire secrets and empty lots, I think of us. Particularly about our wandering together, talking, holding hands in some city I have never been, a raining afternoon. A memory of future time. In this fantasy, we have happened so many times that every memory is a layered bundled roughness of many memories, many moments of us walking hand in hand.
None of this has happened yet. When I think of us like this, moments that haven’t happened layering and shining into one another, it seems possible that we are touching, sharing real space and time. But we are only on two dark moons orbiting each other again and again, touched only by physics.
Gravity.
That it is happening at all seems impossible,
But it’s necessary.
No, not so much necessary as simply happening.
Just happening. Like fog in the morning.
The loved are often in a place of their own, the more heated they are, the stronger their gravity, the further away they pull from the rest of the world. We create that space with stories, images, described moments, we become co-conspirators of narrative. Am I in love, or am I writing a narrative of another person, is there a difference?
I want to solve you like a puzzle; I want to carry you in my mouth like a stone.
In love, we create with and for, an intentional narrative, a heavy handed application of structure. I’m hesitant to say more fiction, more fantasy… but the ease of want makes language more full and flush, swollen, ready to be fucked.
Perhaps it would be more accurate to say that right now, there is a greater willingness to go to extremes.
All I ever want is a high impact romance, full contact trust.
Yes, love hunts me down in the wild.
But I bare my throat, wear my blood like perfume.
